Cheat Watch (2)

Queen sang:

#A brand new angle, highly commendable,
Seaside Rendezvous#

I'm afraid I can't be quite as pleasant about the Redezvous Casino, Brighton.

It is home to a varied assortment of characters, and it appears to be the last casino in Britain not to have banned Koresh. This would appear to show an unusual degree of common sense by the management, as the massive amounts he is prone to drop at the roulette wheel must surely outweigh the occasional havoc he causes when he claims to have put the £300 on red before the ball landed.

But the ongoing cheating in the poker room is far more problematic. It hosts what I believe is the largest casino cash game in the country to be self-dealt, and this, if nothing else, should set the warning lights flashing. I have heard too many tales of dirty dealings there for it to be a coincidence, and for that reason I have studiously refrained from playing any cash games there.

The management of the poker room has been flawed from the outset. The first manager was keen but hopeless, having been given a spectacularly good reference from his previous employer, Roy Houghton at Russell Square, just so that he could get rid of him. The subsequent manager was frog-marched of the premises by Special Branch, and things have got little better since then.

The stupid thing is that the measures needed to tighten up procedures there are relatively minor, a dealer for the cash games, no cash allowed to be in play, regular changing of the decks, and management that understands the game and is aware of the strokes that can be, and are, pulled every day.

Sorry Freddie, it's not a brand new angle, but the same old ones.

Cheat Watch

The Tony Theo story has caused a bit of a rumpus on the Gutshot forum, with certain people calling for him to be banned, and others asking for clarification to be sought from the Vic for the reasons why they booted him out.

The amazing thing is that he appears not to have been banned by Grosvenor Luton, who specialise in the same type of self-deal comps as the one in which he was caught cheating. Presumably were he guilty of cheating at roulette or blackjack, Grosvenor would be quick to alert all the casinos in their chain, but when it is merely OUR money, no-one gives a fuck.

What is clear is that even if Gutshot do not rescind his membership, he will be watched like a hawk by the other players every time he shuffles, cuts, or deals, which will make it harder for him to try and pull any stunts again.

Dammed if I do

Amsterdam was the usual mixture of good tournaments, live fish, and high rakes. As usual, most of the top tournament players in Europe attended, so it would have made more sense to go to Blackpool, where some of Europe's worst players play. But Blackpool rivals Luton for abject shittiness, as well as the necessity to hire armed protection when leaving the casino with more than thirty quid in your pocket (which, let's face it, it's almost impossible not to do in a place where even Howard Plant can win tournaments on a regular basis).

Perhaps that's the answer, check the schedules carefully, decide where all the sharks are headed, and jet off in the opposite direction.

Compare and Contrast

From Pokerineurope.com:

Grosvenor Victoria, Sat 9th October, No Limit Hold 'Em Freezeout £3000 + £30.

Grosvenor Southampton, Tue 2nd November, No Limit Hold 'Em Freezeout £400 + £40.

Can this be true? Did Southampton charge a £40 entry fee on a £400 freezeout? If so this is this the biggest entry fee ever charged for a UK competition? And all for a crappy self-deal Tuesday afternoon competition?

Of course, this may just be down to Jon Shoreman's perpetually erratic typing, the real figure could have been £4, £10, or £13.67. Answers on a postcard please.

Mind you, I would gladly pay all that and more for the chance to watch the Norman Gold patented shuffle, purported to be the loudest and least effective shuffle in the world. I bet it confused the locals no end, which might explain his unlikely money finish.

Hit me baby

Two people have asked me to post a remarkable story that they have recently heard about a high profile UK poker pro and copious amounts of non-prescription drugs.

While I am quite happy to post such a story, I feel duty bound to at least attempt to verify it's accuracy first.

But if you have any stories that you think I might like to post, send me an email to pokerbastard@hotmail.com and i'll do my best to bring it to the world's attention.

Deep in the Brown stuff

You've got to laugh.

Apparently the "European Nations Team Challenge" in St. Petersburg descended into farce when three of the remaining four teams decided to collude with each other to eliminate the England team. I don't know the exact structure of the competition, but by all accounts it appears to have been easy for chip passing, soft playing and the like to have taken place, and there seems to have been no ionclination from the tournament directors to stop it.

Now on the face of it this appears to have been a grim experience for those who have been cheated, as well as a prima facie case of theft and/or corruption, so why did I laugh?

Well, one of the "faces" behind this venture (and incidentally, the recipient of a stomach-churning hagiography in Poker Digest some years back by the queen of arse lickers, Wendeen Eolis) is none other than Murray Brown, who also captained (!) the England team.

Brown is a nasty piece of work, and any event that shows him in a bad light is fine by me, and if the publicising of this event tells a wider audience what those of us unfortunate enough to have to play with him in the Vic already know about him, better still.